Nursing home

On saturday night, Siyi called me after visiting dad.
She told me that dad did not want to go back to the JB nursing home. i told her i know about this but there was simply no other option than to send him back. She said take it that JB nursing home is not an option and work your way ard that. I told her my considerations, it is very expensive in singapore and i simply cannot afford it. she added that just take it as the 3 room flat is urs already. spend the money first. it will be urs eventually after they pass away. u can also think of reverse mortgage. so i went to do my homework about reverse mortgage.
Basically they will give you about $200 to $300 per month when u mortgage part of ur house with NTUC. after that, u will have to pay back including interest. this doesnt serve anything at all. the amount is too small to be even significant. Then i toyed with the thought of putting papa with gong gong since mama is already gone. i have thought of this before but i never wanted to explore this option. i dont want to burden other people about my family’s business. but since she told me that jb is not an option, this is the only way out. i wonder what will be her reaction when i suggest this to her. disgust? annoyed? or acceptance?
I have a few reasons why i cannot support papa in a singapore nursing home. The cost of a nursing home is about $2k as compared to about $900 in JB.

1. I cannot put papa in my house because its too crowded. there will be me, wife, ashlyn, aiden, yuli, papa plus his maid. not even considering the third kid we want to have. this is like 7 people in a house. 8 if we count the third kid.

2. i not only have papa to take care of. i have ashlyn, aiden, my wife, mama, and even my in laws. i cannot spend so much on papa now such that my savings are depleted. it just doesnt make sense at all. and i cannot assume that the 3 room flat will be mine. what if mama wants to sell the flat 3 years down the road? i cannot say anything and i will not say anything. its her flat.

3. i have slipped disc. i dont know how long i will have it or how will it affect me next time. again i must save for the future.

4. i will be out of job at 50 years old. latest. earliest maybe 42? that is just 20 years away and i will have to depend on my savings as well then.

there is just too much at stake here and i feel that it is easy to say lets not consider this, lets do that when u r not the one feeling the pain. unless there is external help, i really dont see how i can do this alone. GOD HELP ME.

Advertisement