some stuff to tell them

1. both of u must love each other no matter what happens. and also love ur little brothers and sisters if any.

2. regardless of your differences, both of u must resolve them and give support to each other in times of need.

3. do not quarrel about money. there will be enough to use and go around.

4. rent out la casa and get the rent every month instead of selling it. split the rent equally among urselves.

5. there will be bad times and good times. have enough patience and guts to ride out the bad times and you will be able to reap the benefits.

6. find a job that u enjoy doing. do not find a job for the sake of working.

7. bring up ur children like how u would have hoped to be brought up.

8. stay near each other so that in times of need, both of u will be near each other. the chinese has a saying. the water that is far cannot save the fire that is near.

9. stay healthy. eat healthy and exercise regularly. no matter how much money u have, it cannot buy u health.

10. eat wisely. eating too much will do u no benefit and eating too little will do u much harm.

11. regardless how old both of u are, u are always papa and mummy’s little children.

12. master ur languages, it will bring you far next time.

Emotional Will

Read about this in the straits time. Based on recent happenings i had to write one for my wife and kids. i have been meaning to write one but no time.

thanks dear dear for keep me sane during difficult times like this and supporting every decision that i make. be it good or bad. i love u cause u help keep the house intact when i am running about with my job or for my family.

ashlyn and aiden, papa loves u and really wish that both of u will grow up to be good boy and good girls. school results are important as they will give u a good headstart in lift. but ultimately, it all depends on yourself after you leave school. so go to school, be good and make lots of friends there. they will stay with you for life and support you through your darkest times. mummy and papa have tried our best to bring both of you up to the best of our abilities. but we are not saints and we make mistakes along the way too. be good to your mummy and grandma as they have put in a lot of effort to take care of you and provide you with the best they have.

Nursing home

On saturday night, Siyi called me after visiting dad.
She told me that dad did not want to go back to the JB nursing home. i told her i know about this but there was simply no other option than to send him back. She said take it that JB nursing home is not an option and work your way ard that. I told her my considerations, it is very expensive in singapore and i simply cannot afford it. she added that just take it as the 3 room flat is urs already. spend the money first. it will be urs eventually after they pass away. u can also think of reverse mortgage. so i went to do my homework about reverse mortgage.
Basically they will give you about $200 to $300 per month when u mortgage part of ur house with NTUC. after that, u will have to pay back including interest. this doesnt serve anything at all. the amount is too small to be even significant. Then i toyed with the thought of putting papa with gong gong since mama is already gone. i have thought of this before but i never wanted to explore this option. i dont want to burden other people about my family’s business. but since she told me that jb is not an option, this is the only way out. i wonder what will be her reaction when i suggest this to her. disgust? annoyed? or acceptance?
I have a few reasons why i cannot support papa in a singapore nursing home. The cost of a nursing home is about $2k as compared to about $900 in JB.

1. I cannot put papa in my house because its too crowded. there will be me, wife, ashlyn, aiden, yuli, papa plus his maid. not even considering the third kid we want to have. this is like 7 people in a house. 8 if we count the third kid.

2. i not only have papa to take care of. i have ashlyn, aiden, my wife, mama, and even my in laws. i cannot spend so much on papa now such that my savings are depleted. it just doesnt make sense at all. and i cannot assume that the 3 room flat will be mine. what if mama wants to sell the flat 3 years down the road? i cannot say anything and i will not say anything. its her flat.

3. i have slipped disc. i dont know how long i will have it or how will it affect me next time. again i must save for the future.

4. i will be out of job at 50 years old. latest. earliest maybe 42? that is just 20 years away and i will have to depend on my savings as well then.

there is just too much at stake here and i feel that it is easy to say lets not consider this, lets do that when u r not the one feeling the pain. unless there is external help, i really dont see how i can do this alone. GOD HELP ME.

No pay leave

Can’t wait for my baby to come out! Just hope that I was on no pay leave

Just some tots

yesterday i learnt that money is not impt. if it was, my frens in the company would not have left the company. Kevin took a 40% pay cut to become a teacher. why i ask? he says, since he is changing job, then must change to a job with satisfaction. totally agree..
i also always think that we only live once, and only for about 70 years. i am already almost half way there. if i dont start to “enjoy” my life, when will i start?
but yet all must be put into context. not everyone can be like tianwei whom is going to travel ard the world after he leaves. i have a dad in old folks home in jb, an ageing mother who probably cant work for long. not to mention Ashlyn and one more baby coming up. so how can i live a life that i want to? i grew up knowing that the only way out of the cycle is to study hard and work hard. so i guessed i have finish the first part and now i am fulfilling the second part. its just a matter of time i guess, before i can cut down on my liabilities and increase my assets. until then, i will just have to work hard! =)
ashlyn is nearer the “terrible” two.. its not terrible at all i feel. she may be playful, but now she can hold decent conversations and understand things. she also is very sticky to me and dear dear. that i feel is something that will change once she is like 7 years old? she will be more independent and will not need/miss us as much… well, now she is sitting on my lap and i doubt i can type some more! bye!

Dreams

i dont even know where to start. election? work? family?
i have a dream, to be a simple boy. thats far fetched of course but thats what i want. i dont want to earn millions working my ass off. i wan a nice job that is enough to support my family and my parents and dont give me nightmares when i sleep. i want to sleep in peace. to be able to come home before the sun sets and play with my kids and wife more before they go to bed.
i have another dream, to retire. and do the things i had wanted to do but did not do because of work or family. i want to read books and play games like PS3! haha! i know thats childish but thats what i want to do! not to travel the world, see the seven seas nor jump out of an airplane! =) i also miss the times when i play PS2 with wifey before ashlyn came out. heh

Comfort

I wonder who gets more comfort when I hug Ashlyn. Me or her?

On babies, old folks home and happiness

I never liked baby or kids for that matter.. i always thought they were noisy, irritating and i just didnt like to carry them or play with them. The first baby i ever carried was Ashlyn. That says alot about my 28 years of life with regards to baby. Ashlyn did not change me. i still dont like to carry babies or play with kids, but i just love Ashlyn. I wonder how that can happen? its like i can carry ashlyn for days without putting her down if she is not that heavy, but i would not take the initiative to carry another baby or kid if i can help it.. Life is just strange la..

On dec 21, i sent my dad to an old folks home in JB. Many people ask me, isnt employing a maid cheaper and can help u do housework as well? yeah it is, but i think it is not humane to ask a maid to work in an environment like that. where there is almost 24/7 quarrelling going on and 6 cats roaming around. i shudder to think where is she going to sleep and eat.. Cost is not the issue here i think. if i can afford it, i will send him to a home in singapore, but it is a bit too expensive man.. Oh well, jia jia you ben nan nian de jing.

This CNY, i had the luxury of meeting some of my friends though the duration can be longer.. but its all about sacrifices.. what do you expect of a father that has a 17 month old kid and another baby coming out in Aug? Of course i look at my friends and i feel jealous, they can party till 3am and go home and sleep. i got to bring ashlyn home at 8 plus so that she can sleep at about 10 after bathing.. thats the life i guess.. i give some of my best years in life to my family and work.. i wonder what will i get back next time? Probably a bed in an old folks home. with the rest of my friends of course! that i dont mind!

A new year

2011. A new year, hopefully a better year. it can only get better right?
One event i am looking forward to this month..
Jiamin’s book launch. I always had the support of friends when i needed them but i always did not have the chance to “repay” them. and now with the arriving of little ronghe number 2, chances is that i will have even lesser time to spend time with my friends.. i can support them in whatever ways i can..
Ashlyn is doing great, growing up well, albeit shorter than kids her age though, but what to do when both her parents are short. sorry ash, but luckily u are a girl so its not so bad.
Christina is also doing well, she enjoys her job, does not have much morning sickness and is still quite manoeuverable.
Little baby in her stomach is also doing well, just went for check up and everything seems alright!
Ronghe here is the same old ronghe from TH years ago just that he has a wife, a 17 months kid and another one that is coming up, and a job that he has been in for the past 10 years? same old issues, want to meet up with friends but does not have the time. feels very bad about it and everyone really needs friends, not just family.
yuppers. i hope this new year brings new challenges, hope and peace to everybody. i would like to blog more often but as usual not much time left at the end of the day.
wakes up at 7am to go work
reaches home 630pm if lucky
eat dinner and relax till 715pm
wifey or me bathes ashlyn till 745pm
brings ashlyn down for a walk till 9pm
Time to prepare ashlyn for bedtime
she usually falls asleep by 11pm? which by then i also fall asleep liao.. haha.. no me time at all!!!
happy new year peps

Leaving for one week

Will be going to Australia for one week tmr.. this will be the longest time i am leaving baby.. Hope that everything will be ok for this one week.. Also the second long time i will be leaving wifey. i went NZ for 1 week last year too. Seems a pretty good job eh come to think of it. free travel to places i would never go myself. NZ, AUS, Manado, etc.. but still happiness is the most impt thing aint it. have to leave for work soon.. see ya ard!